Recipes only!

[yourfriendclaire]

Forking this off from the "what are you eating" thread to make a home for recipes ONLY!

Let's go!!!!!

Here's how I make sauerkraut:

First make sure everything is clean—your hands, surfaces, bowls, and whatever vessel will hold the finished sauerkraut. Just rinse everything with vinegar or boiling water.

Finely chop a whole head of cabbage and put it in a big bowl. You can use regular white or red cabbage (mixing both will get you pink kraut) or Nappa cabbage which is a bit waterier.

Add 1 tablespoon of sea salt for every 2 pounds of cabbage—doesn’t have to be exact. I usually use 1 1/2 - 2 tablespoons of salt per head of cabbage. Massage the cabbage and the salt together with your hands for a couple of minutes. You’ll feel the salt drawing water out of the cabbage and softening it the more you massage. Let it sit for about 10 minutes and then go at it again.

Then add any aromatics you want to include: crushed bay leaves, peppercorns, mustard seeds, caraway seeds, fennel seeds, whatever you have lying around. Hot tip: Nappa cabbage with Sichuan peppercorns is next-level. When that brew is done fermenting you can just mix it with some sesame oil and soy sauce and it makes a killer little salad.

Then start packing the cabbage into a big jar or ceramic crock. As you pack it, you want to “punch it down” with your first so that it’s really jammed in there. As you punch, you’ll draw out more liquid. Pack and punch until the jar is full. The brine is anaerobic, and will protect the cabbage from any bad bacteria, so long as it covers the cabbage entirely. You can make sure it covers the cabbage by weighing the sauerkraut down with a glass of water, a boiled rock, or a big unchopped cabbage leaf. If there isn’t enough brine to cover the cabbage, just make some more brine with a few tablespoons of salt and a couple cups of water and pour it on top.

You’ll be surprised much cabbage can fit into a single jar if you really punch it.

Seal the jar or put a clean cloth on top of it and put it somewhere dark, like a cupboard. If you do seal the jar, make sure to open it every day or so to “burp” the kraut as the fermentation process will make it bubble and expand. After about a week you should have sauerkraut! You can put the jar in the fridge and the flavor will develop more slowly over time.

The brine is extremely good for you and is also an excellent replacement for vinegar in salad dressings! In Eastern Europe they make soup with it! I drink it straight!

[willowowow]

Wow- thank you for this! A boiled rock?! I will try it out.

I'm making yogurt this afternoon and will post the steps after.

[m o l l y]

I will make this, just like this!

[ritchey]

This is how I do it too! I make two big jugs of it in the fall and it lasts us all year. It's the last preservation task I do before winter comes in, so it like heralds the change of the season. It's so good and so easy.

MY MOM'S 90s VEGETARIAN CHILI
- package of tempeh
- marinade: 2T soy sauce, 2T water, 2T sesame oil, maybe some minced garlic, or garlic/onion powder
* crumble up the tempeh into a bowl and put the marinade on it and stir it up. Let it sit while you do the rest

Next--in a big chili pot, put 6T or so olive oil and warm the spices in it on medium:
- 1T chili powder, 1t mustard powder (or regular ol' wet mustard (prob brown mustard would be best in this case)), 1t cumin, 1/2t oregano

once that's all bubblin' put in
- one diced onion, stir it up, let it get a bit soft and aromatic (throw some salt in there at this point)
- add one diced bell pepper (and a minced jalapeño if you like it spicy), same.
- add the tempeh. Let the tempeh cook a little--try to sort of brown it, but I never can get it to really brown. Just let it sizzle awhile
- then add roughly 28 oz (one big can) of tomatoes--diced, crushed, whatever (could also use fresh)
- add couple globs of tomato paste (maybe 1-2 Tbsp)
- then the final thing, add maybe 15 oz nice beans (already cooked beans--can use canned or beans you make yourself)

Taste it and add more salt or whatever. Once it tastes good, put a lid on it, turn it down low and let it simmer awhile (maybe 20 mins?), stirring periodically so it doesn't stick.

Secret ingredient: usually when it's all done I add like 1/4 cup ketchup, makes it pop

[yourfriendclaire]

OMG YES Ritchey I keep meaning to ask you for that chili recipe!

[yourfriendclaire]

Wow- thank you for this! A boiled rock?! I will try it out.

I'm making yogurt this afternoon and will post the steps after.

The boiled rock idea comes from good ol Sandor Ellix Katz

[willowowow]

Yogurt:

Heat milk in a pot to 180 degrees. Then cool it to 110 (I put the whole pot in an ice bath to speed this up.) Then mix a cup of the milk with half a cup of the old (plain) yogurt in your fridge. Whisk it! Now pour that mixture back into the pot with the rest of the milk and whisk some more- until it's a little frothy. Finally, transfer that mixture to a mason jar, or a series of little jars.

Wrap jar(s) in a towel and place somewhere warm (your turned-off oven, next to your furnace, etc.) Ignore for 6-8 hours. Now you have yogurt!

You can add your flavors before it sets, I think, but I like to mix mine in right before I eat it. All done!

[yourfriendclaire]

Whoa. Can you do this with oat milk/coconut, you think? Or would we need special cultures?

[Phil]

I might be the only not vegetarian, who knows, but here’s a staple in my house:

TARE:
It’s a sauce that’s part of ramen broth and probably other Japanese things. I use it all over the place. Just tonight I put it on some fried tofu slabs with miso and damn yum.

In cast iron pot in the oven at 400 roast chicken backs, necks, bones, whatever. If you have other animal bones they are all good and interesting. Last time I used deer and turkey.
After it’s ambered and crispy (1-2 hours) take it out, remove bones, deglaze with 1/2 cup sake. Get all the primo meat/bone nugs scraped off. Return bones. Add 1/2 cup mirin, 1 cup light soy sauce (“usukuchi”), 1/2 lb. bacon. Simmer for like 2 hours at the lowest possible bubble. You’re imbuing the soy sauce and mirin with bone and smoke essence.

Strain it. There will be bacon fat on the surface. This is valuable. Keep it all in the fridge in a little jar. It doesn’t make that much but it’s concentrated and powerful. Add it to kale, broth, stir fry.

[willowowow]

Whoa. Can you do this with oat milk/coconut, you think? Or would we need special cultures?

I've never used non-dairy milk, but the recipe I work from says you can. Just make sure your starter has live cultures in it. Let me know how it turns out!

[m o l l y]

Have you ever had an apple omelet? It's delicious! Fry some apple chunks in salty butter then add the egg. Eat with crusty bread.

[ritchey]

WHOA, like an apple crepe!
apple is so versatile and can go in a savory thing and I find that interesting. Remember how in Farmer Boy he's obsessed with the "apples n' onions" his Ma makes for breakfast

[ritchey]

Willow how much milk goes in the pot? Total amount of milk you start with, I mean?
I love this recipe as it is less finicky than every other one I have read. I am excited to try it!!!

[m o l l y]

WHOA, like an apple crepe!
apple is so versatile and can go in a savory thing and I find that interesting. Remember how in Farmer Boy he's obsessed with the "apples n' onions" his Ma makes for breakfast

Haha. I don't know farmer boy, but that sounds super German. I like to make apple & onion quiche too. Instead of creme, I add high-fat (10%) yogurt, and dijon mustard to the raw egg mixture.

[ritchey]

yum
Farmer Boy is the boy version of Little House on the Prairie--she wrote it about her husband's childhood! There are many amazing parts:
- he puts a potato in the fire to cook it and it explodes and he almost loses his eye
- his Pa tells him not to walk out onto the river ice but he does, and falls through, and almost dies and then once they rescue him his Pa gives him a whipping
- he finds a rich man's wallet with $200 inside and when he returns it to the rich man the rich man is so impressed by his good morals (for not taking the money) that he gives him a horse
- as a child I was obsessed with this image: in the morning they get up before dawn and Ma has laid out an enormous breakfast including bacon and ham and apples n' onions and bread and cornbread and pig fat and beans and god knows what else, and he eats all of it and then slips a piece of apple pie into his pocket to eat in the field. I was obsessed with wanting to put a piece of pie in my pocket and my mom wouldn't let me

[yourfriendclaire]

My mom just very lovingly described a cabbage and apple dish on the phone to me yesterday, and it sounds baffling: slice a whole red onion, cook until soft, add sliced apple and red cabbage and a little milk (?!) and cook the whole thing until it’s “melted together.” I dunno

[ritchey]

That sounds pretty rough but I believe in your mom!!!!!
Sounds very European and/or ancient Russian peasant

[willowowow]

Willow how much milk goes in the pot? Total amount of milk you start with, I mean?
I love this recipe as it is less finicky than every other one I have read. I am excited to try it!!!

I just do a quart, but I think you can do more if you make sure to whisk in the starter thoroughly when the time comes. Some recipes only call for a couple tablespoons of starter so I don't think the proportions matter much.

[willowowow]

Speaking of recipes- where is Freddy?? She needs to be on this board/in this thread!

[m o l l y]

My mom just very lovingly described a cabbage and apple dish on the phone to me yesterday, and it sounds baffling: slice a whole red onion, cook until soft, add sliced apple and red cabbage and a little milk (?!) and cook the whole thing until it’s “melted together.” I dunno

Oh, a Belgian would for SURE eat that.

[m o l l y]

yum
Farmer Boy is the boy version of Little House on the Prairie--she wrote it about her husband's childhood! There are many amazing parts:
- he puts a potato in the fire to cook it and it explodes and he almost loses his eye
- his Pa tells him not to walk out onto the river ice but he does, and falls through, and almost dies and then once they rescue him his Pa gives him a whipping
- he finds a rich man's wallet with $200 inside and when he returns it to the rich man the rich man is so impressed by his good morals (for not taking the money) that he gives him a horse
- as a child I was obsessed with this image: in the morning they get up before dawn and Ma has laid out an enormous breakfast including bacon and ham and apples n' onions and bread and cornbread and pig fat and beans and god knows what else, and he eats all of it and then slips a piece of apple pie into his pocket to eat in the field. I was obsessed with wanting to put a piece of pie in my pocket and my mom wouldn't let me

Farmer boy's life was hard. But at LEAST his mother let him pocket pie.

[01001010 01010101 01000100 01000001 01001000]

@alexshred420 has a really good DD Casserole recipe

[RCH]

Ritchey, would Farmer Boy ask his ma for permission to carry a slice of pie to the fields in his coat pocket? Doesn't ring true. Maybe that's where you went wrong.

Molly, have you ever been to the Jacques Brel museum?

Claire, I would gladly hang on to your lady mother's every gastronomical word. Remember when she was preserving lemons?

Phil, tare sounds amazing. I'm one of these veggievores but I would eat it; I figure you probably personally knew the deer it was made with.

[m o l l y]

The Jacques Brel museum is almost entirely dedicated to convincing you that he is in fact Belgian and not French. I pass(ed) his childhood home EVERY DAY on my bike ride to work!

[ritchey]

Great point about Farmer Boy!!!!
Next pie I make, I'm slipping a piece in my pocket.

[tim]

alton brown's peanut butter cookies take literally like 15 minutes.

VEGAN VERSION
1 cup smooth PB (wonder what chunky would do PROLLY GOOD)
.5 cup light brown sugar
.5 cup sugar
1/4 cup apple sauce
1/4 cup sifted flour
1 teaspoon baking soda
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
1/4 teaspoon kosher salt

BLOOD MOUTH VERSION
1 cup smooth PB (wonder what chunky would do PROLLY GOOD)
.5 cup light brown sugar
.5 cup sugar
1 egg
1 teaspoon baking soda
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
1/4 teaspoon kosher salt

mix it up, plop em down on baking sheet with parchment paper, and flatten with a fork. bake for 10 minutes at 350. let cool!

i transcribed this from his fun video here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0nalyEGpuSs

[yourfriendclaire]

Thank you Tim! These look good as hell

[m o l l y]

BLOOD MOUTH VERSION
1 cup smooth PB (wonder what chunky would do PROLLY GOOD)
.5 cup light brown sugar
.5 cup sugar
1 egg
1 teaspoon baking soda
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
1/4 teaspoon kosher salt

Wait, BLOOD MOUTH because I am a voracious heartless killer or BLOOD MOUTH because of cuts? Tell it to me straight: am I a cruel devil woman or are these cookies just too damn hard?

[m o l l y]

Sorry Tim, watched the video! Turns out I have a heartless bloody mouth. Sorry! Those look very edible and not too damn hard at all.

[ritchey]

How to make your own veggie stock! Once you get in the rhythm of it it is so fun and nice and you always have nice stock on hand, to use in soups, sauces, to cook rice or beans in, whatever you want. Here is my method:

I keep a metal container with a lid in my freezer (like a smallish buffet tray. You can also just use a Tupperware). Into this container I throw all my veggie peelings from cooking, over the days and weeks. Carrot ends, broccoli ends, half a thing of kale that is about to go bad, onion peels, whatever (not beets (too sweet), and not too many potato peels (makes it too gummy)). When the container fills all the way up, it's time to make stock.

Dump the container into a big giant pot and fill the pot up with water. Pour in a glug of olive oil, a couple glugs of soy sauce, probably some extra salt. If there was no parsley in your stock container, stick some parsley in there, maybe a stick of celery. If there wasn't much onion in there, cut an onion in quarters and throw it in. Also you can chop a whole head of garlic in half and throw it all in (no need to peel or anything, just throw it in skins and all). I usually try not to add anything fresh, and just make stock out of whatever the metal bin contains, because I like conceptually the idea of simply making stock only from garbage, but it does taste better if you tweak it a bit in these ways. You'll learn what works--like, if you put in too many carrots it'll be too sweet. Too many corn cobs it'll be too corny. BY CONTRAST you can make these kinds of stocks (too carroty, too corny, whatever) and save them for things that they would complement (i.e. a corny stock would be great for a corn chowder). Too much brassicas will be too bitter. This sort of thing. But mostly you kind of can't go wrong--it always turns out more or less useable. If you eat cheese you can put parmesan rinds in there too if you want, makes it richer.

Bring it to a boil, then turn it down to a simmer, and let it simmer uncovered for basically however long you want but at least 45 minutes. The longer it goes, the thicker and more concentrated the flavors will get, so I usually let it simmer a couple hours. give it a stir very periodically.

When it's done or you are sick of having the stove on, turn it off and let it cool down for a long time (until you can stick your hands in it). Then strain it into quart mason jars or whatever you like to freeze stuff in (if you use jars, leave 2 inches head room so your jars don't break. Sometimes they break anyway FYI). Let the jars cool completely in the fridge overnight, then freeze them (without their lids--once they're frozen you can add the lids). Now you have stock! Whenever you want one, take it out and stick it in a bowl of hot water and in an hour you can dump it into a pot to finish thawing.

It took awhile but now I'm in a good rhythm of using it slowly and right when it's about to be gone my peelings bin is full so I start over.

If you get overwhelmed and the peelings bin fills up and you can't deal with it, just compost it! I actually keep TWO metal bins in my freezer, one for stock and one for regular compost. If you don't have a compost pile, but you have some sort of yard, you should start one! If you don't have a yard then god bless you.

[tim]

Sorry Tim, watched the video! Turns out I have a heartless bloody mouth. Sorry! Those look very edible and not too damn hard at all.

(theyre so good, i've made them now too many times!)

[ritchey]

I'm doing this starting tonight (baking tomorrow night). I've never gone whole hog with pizza before--I usually just make it by pinching off a bit of my normal bread dough. It turns out okay but not great. I decided anything worth doing is worth doing right, so I'm giving this a full-on shot. I will report back. If I don't set off the smoke alarms it will be a great triumph!

https://www.theperfectloaf.com/sourdoug ... d-recipes/

[m o l l y]

Sorry Tim, watched the video! Turns out I have a heartless bloody mouth. Sorry! Those look very edible and not too damn hard at all.

(theyre so good, i've made them now too many times!)

I am very tempted to make these but also worried that even though I have a giant jar of organic peanut butter in storage, I WILL USE UP ALL OF THE PEANUT BUTTER. We cannot let that happen. If I get a second second-jar, then we'll talk.

[ritchey]

Willow I just started my yogurt. I am very very scared. I don't have a thermometer so I read about ol' pioneer woman yogurting techniques and did it that way (wait til you see tiny bubbles around perimeter, take off heat/once you can hold your pinky in it for 5 seconds it's cool enough) but it is definitely one of those things that will take trial and error and that is hard to perfectly describe in words (I'm reminded of my nightmare struggles with sourdough recipes e.g. "when the dough is wet enough" or "when the dough becomes resistant to stretching" like wtf those are so relative how do I know) and so I am afraid I over or under heated the milk. I also don't have a gas oven so I put jars of boiling water in our cooler and wrapped the yogurt in a towel and stuck it in there with them.

Will report back

This reminds me awhile ago I read some blog where they tried to make a cake following Laura Ingalls Wilder's exact instructions and the cake called for TWELVE EGGS and you had to wait to put it in the oven until you couldn't hold your whole arm inside for a count of ten. Not to mention whipping your own cream by hand, which I literally can not imagine ever having the muscle strength to do. Old time cooking is so 'core. Love thinking about all those beat-up ladies in aprons with epic biceps, sticking their arm into the wood-fired oven up to the shoulder

[yourfriendclaire]

Does anyone have a casserole recipe (preferably vegan or adaptable to vegans with a little ingenuity) that they like? After making this lasagna I’m interested in more one-dish meals

[willowowow]

Willow I just started my yogurt. I am very very scared. I don't have a thermometer so I read about ol' pioneer woman yogurting techniques and did it that way (wait til you see tiny bubbles around perimeter, take off heat/once you can hold your pinky in it for 5 seconds it's cool enough) but it is definitely one of those things that will take trial and error and that is hard to perfectly describe in words (I'm reminded of my nightmare struggles with sourdough recipes e.g. "when the dough is wet enough" or "when the dough becomes resistant to stretching" like wtf those are so relative how do I know) and so I am afraid I over or under heated the milk. I also don't have a gas oven so I put jars of boiling water in our cooler and wrapped the yogurt in a towel and stuck it in there with them.

Will report back

This reminds me awhile ago I read some blog where they tried to make a cake following Laura Ingalls Wilder's exact instructions and the cake called for TWELVE EGGS and you had to wait to put it in the oven until you couldn't hold your whole arm inside for a count of ten. Not to mention whipping your own cream by hand, which I literally can not imagine ever having the muscle strength to do. Old time cooking is so 'core. Love thinking about all those beat-up ladies in aprons with epic biceps, sticking their arm into the wood-fired oven up to the shoulder

Ooooh Ritchey please report back! I bet it'll be great. And even if it's runny you can still use it for smoothies, or just relabel it "yogurt drink" in your mind.

How did that cake turn out, on the blog?? Did it work?? I cannot imagine. One time I made whipped cream by hand, but I had to pass the bowl and whisk around to many friends because our arms would get so tired. It took a long time.

[m o l l y]

did you know you can shake cream in a jar and it BECOMES WHIPPED CREAM? This blew my mind.

[willowowow]

did you know you can shake cream in a jar and it BECOMES WHIPPED CREAM? This blew my mind.

WHAAAT?!?

[GARY-19]

You can put Berbere in anything.

Warmly,

G

[m o l l y]

You can put Berbere in anything.

YUM.
Our home has various "sprinkles" on the table alongside salt and pepper. They include two kinds of za'atar (one that is a little cuminy and one that is greener and has mint in it), pickle masala, smoked salt and chipotle powder. I want this sprinkle!

[ritchey]

my yogurt tastes good but is very very runny. I'm just drinking it.
I think maybe I didn't heat it up high enough? But the good news it, we just did a deep pantry/basement spring clean and found a candy thermometer I forgot we have! So I will try again the next time we have milk.

[m o l l y]

I missed the entire veggie stock explanation from before! It is a delightful reminder! I didn't have a freezer for three houses (ugh, I know, this land!) and had this dream (no joke) that someday I would be able to freeze my peels and cores and make stock and be this efficient freezer owner. I think in my dream, I also boiled it down and poured it into ice trays so I could have as much or as little stock as I wanted ANY time.
I now have a more or less empty freezer because I basically forgot what they are for. It currently contains: ice, peas and a bag of avocado pits for dying. Fin.

[meadows]

The best kitchen upgrade I've done this year is to save all my parm rinds in the freezer. My person is a big soup/sauce person and flavors really peak when u put a little cheese rind in there!

[RCH]

Garlic hack: crack open some garlic bulbs, discard most of the papery wrapper, and put the unpeeled cloves in a jar of oil. No more fussing around with the damned peels.

One night I saw the dried peel bits on the counter where I keep garlic and a wave of misery came over me. I just never wanted to see those little sticky paper bits again.

EDIT I thought I was so clever but I just read oil and garlic at room temperature can make botulism. I keep mine in the fridge, I'll tell you all if I get botulism.

[ritchey]

crossing my fingers for you not to get botulism! I bet you won't.

YOGURT REPORT
I made it again this time with the candy thermometer. I was shocked to learn how unsteadily my electric stove heats! The thermometer would go up to 160...then down to 140....then up to 160...then back down. It was frustrating. We just got a new stove because the one that was in our house when we moved in finally broke, I think it was truly from the 1970s. We don't have gas, so we had to get another coil stove because I use mainly cast iron and you can't use it on those glass-topped stoves and I refuse to change my ways because cast iron is ancient and wonderful. We also had to get the smallest kind of stove they make because of our how cabinets are set up. And finally, this all led us to only two stove options and we chose the cheaper, as is our wont. My point is that this is a stove I am not committed to at the best of times and now I am more annoyed with it than ever. And in general I really hate electric stoves but what are you gonna do?? I try not to yearn for gas too much because gas also = fracking and I know that's not good either (and we already have OIL heat, which is this disgusting thing I'd never heard of until we moved to New England but is very common here--literal oil, like we have a huge metal oil tank in our basement and a man comes and fills it every few months) but anyway I digress: YOGURT

I heated it up I think to the correct temp. Willow can you confirm perceptually: it was ALMOST bubbling, like it was starting to rumble. It developed a skin on top. And it was sort of starting to very mildly separate and get little cheesy-type bits sticking to the side of the pot. Lots of steam. Does that sound right, the right temp? I took it off the heat and let it cool down to what my thermometer claimed was 110 (you can see I am developing suspicions about my thermometer also). Then, not having a gas stove as I stated above thus not having a "warm oven with just the pilot light on," I wrapped the jar in a towel and put it in a cooler with several jars of boiling water around it. I checked it in 6 hours and it worked this time! A nice fluffy set. Milk became yogurt! It's just like a sourdough starter where at first it's just flour but then somehow it becomes fluffy sour smelling something-else. But, it wasn't tangy at all, it barely tasted like yogurt. Some random lady on the internet said she leaves hers for 24 hours so I refilled the hot water bottles and put it back in the cooler overnight. Today it is nice and sour, with a layer of yogurt juice on top. I will eat it in a minute and if I die of poisoning I will report back.

I think I will declare it a success. I am very chuffed because we just ran out of yogurt yesterday and I don't want to put my haz-mat suit on to go get yogurt when that's the only thing we're out of. HEYO

[mrbrown]

The best kitchen upgrade I've done this year is to save all my parm rinds in the freezer. My person is a big soup/sauce person and flavors really peak when u put a little cheese rind in there!

dude try roasting or grilling them they turn into crazy cheese crunchers.

[mrbrown]

this is a suuuper easy fermented condiment i made recently. traditionally this is made with yuzu peels and green chilies and is zippy with citrus zing, salt and medium heat. awesome on just about anything that you would ever use hot sauce on, which i'm assuming is at least 70% of our collective diet yes?

if you arent familiar with yuzu its a Japanese citrus that kinda tastes like a cross between lime, grapefruit and mandarins -- like platonic citrus scented floor cleaner.

if you're in LA you likely are surrounded by citrus - here's a good way to make use of it even if the fruit is not good. My tangelo's kinda suck -- the fruit is super underdeveloped and weird and punishingly tart but the rinds are VIVID.

I used what i have in my yard: mexican limes, tangelos, meyer lemons. you should use whatever you want but err on the less sweet, more acidic fruits. I'm sure this will work with Florida oranges but i dont think it will be as good.

PLEASE TO ENJOY

1/4 lbs of fresh chilies -- i used mature/verging on dry and/or rotten red chilies
1/4 cup mixed (or not) citrus zest
--4 mexican limes or 2 standard limes
--2 tangelos or 1 orange 1 grapefruit
--3 meyer lemons or other
--or whatever i dont think you can go wrong here
1 tablespoon of salt
2-4 tablespoons of mixed citrus juice from above zested fruits

Slice the flesh off the chilies and try to avoid seeds. if you have a mortar and pestle, add the chopped chilies and 1/2 tablespoon of salt and mash to a paste. if you dont m+p, you can use a food processor or just do a nice mince and just mix with salt.

Zest your citrus with a box grater, microplane, whatever. if you have no good zesting tools you should treat yourself to one because you deserve it. in a pinch you can use a veggie peeler or just use a knife -- aim to include as little pith as possible. add to the salty chili slop and add the rest of the salt. mix it up.

Place the paste in a clean jar and add tablespoons of mixed citrus juice until you've got 1/4-1/2 inch of just juice on top of the goop.

Seal the jar and leave it on your counter. Shake it once a day for at least three days. You can keep fermenting for 2ish more weeks. After that, re-process it into a pastier paste or just leave it chunky and keep it in the fridge.

[ritchey]

you damn west coasters. I haven't had an orange since before Christmas, when I visited my brother in Hawaii. That is also the last time I ate an avocado. Dwell on that factoid, you psychos

[m o l l y]

Huh. Here oranges are winter fruit. It is literally a Christmas (or rather local racist Christmas-time holiday) tradition for kids to get a shoe full of tangerines. They are grown in Spain and Morocco. Moroccan oranges are amazingly sweet and juicy grapefruit sized monsters you can get at moroccan run corner stores. The bin is as full of leaves and branches as it is fruit.

[ritchey]

How odd to consider oranges a winter fruit! You're also reminding me of how they get oranges in their stockings on xmas in Little House and actually I am now wondering where they could possibly have gotten oranges in December in North Dakota in the late 19th century. As for here, we don't have a long/warm enough growing season for citrus! It's so sad. Obviously there are oranges/avos/etc. trucked in from Mexico but as a rule I don't buy them, save a couple splurges a year...since moving here I've been experimenting with gently trying to eat seasonally/locally (with many obvious and glaring exceptions) to see what it feels like. At first I yearned intensely for avocados but amazingly the yearning faded to a gentle melancholia (plus even if you do buy an avocado here they really do suck, after their many days of international travel, it's not worth it). I am finding some seasonal vibes emerging in my body. For example all fall and winter I lust for apples and eat at least one apple every day, but by spring I am tired of them and ready for berries. All summer I eat zero apples and only berries and want for nothing. It is odd. Ditto asparagus and some other things.

I do continue to buy millions of limes every week, so it's not fair to say I never get any citrus. Also lemons, for health and enjoyment. Also coffee and red wine, I continue purchasing these items at max volume. Also I admit I can not quite emotionally withstand a full New England winter eating only seasonally/what I've managed to can or freeze, and I do supplement with trucked-in things like broccoli. I just can't face eating that many turnips; the soul shrinks. I will if I have to (i.e. if capitalism ends) but as of now I lack the emotional fortitude.

I keep hinting to my Hawaii brother that I would simply love a box of tangelos from his crazy semi-legal tropical jungle property but so far no dice. It's so funny how opposite our climates/landscapes are. When we FaceTime it's 4:00 p.m. here and first thing in the morning there, and I'm wrapped in a hooded poncho peeling potatoes and he's barefoot climbing one of his SEVERAL 50 foot tall avocado trees to get ingredients for his morning power drink, grabbing citrus off vines as he walks and flinging the peels out the window of the condemned rotting house he semi-lives in, for the chickens to peck. Stuff grows so fast and hardily there that he says it's stressful, you have to be careful where you throw the remains of your dinner because you'll wake up the next morning and the entire yard will be colonized by a vast squash vine or something. He's got a pineapple garden grown simply from the tops of pineapples he eats and throws out in the yard. VanderMeer vibes again! I am sometimes jealous of him but I am also grateful not to have to clean gecko eggs out of my bed every night: the lord never extends a hand without He withdraws the other and that's a fact