DISMANTLE WHARF

FACT. [Shakes hand]

I don't really go to supermarkets anymore. I live in a Turkish neighborhood that overfloweth with little local shops selling fruits and veggies and basics dry goods. Because those dudes buy the cheapest decent looking goods at wholesale, you are pretty much stuck to seasonal stuff. Although there is also always a multitude of peppers trucked in from Turkey. Super thin waxy fleshed yellowy-green bitter ones, sweet red pointy ones, long green-bean-looking spicy ones, small green shishito-style ones.
I read a column recently that said for the first time in recorded history the banana has overtaken the apple as the most consumed fruit in Belgium, which really struck me. There are certain things I will find outrageous or downright decadent to see in Belgium at all or at certain times of year (Strawberries in December?! Who do these assholes think they are???) or Korneel will get indignant because I bought lettuce "out of season" (wait, lettuce has a season?). But then other things, like bananas, which come from soooo far away just somehow creeped in and are acceptable all the time? I buy a lot of bananas and avocados but I will wait until June to buy a single stone fruit. What gives?

We are absolutely drowning in citrus over here. The default act of quarantine-motivated neighborly generosity in LA is “bowl of lemons in the front yard” and I’ve been grabbing a handful on every daily walk. With my first dozen I made “neighborlade,” a Frankensteined marmalade from kumquats, Meyer lemons, oranges and lemons, but honestly I never eat marmalade and it will definitely sit in my fridge until the end of time. This fermented hot sauce sounds more auspicious. Brown, could I use dried peppers? Reconstituted in water?

Mail that 'lade to your loving mother.

mrbrown wrote: ↑Sun Apr 12, 2020 8:59 pm

meadows wrote: ↑Sat Apr 11, 2020 10:54 am The best kitchen upgrade I've done this year is to save all my parm rinds in the freezer. My person is a big soup/sauce person and flavors really peak when u put a little cheese rind in there!

dude try roasting or grilling them they turn into crazy cheese crunchers.

WHOA
DUDE
I definitely will!

The other night I made pho from scratch and IT WAS ACTUALLY REALLY GOOD. I've tried and failed in the past, and am pretty persnickety about Pho. Mine was not the best that I have ever had, but it was better than most restaurant pho I've eaten. This recipe is almost vegan. To make it vegan, leave out fish sauce.

I started with about 8 cups of homemade veg stock. Like Ritchey, I always have at least one bag of frozen compost for making broths. I also save my parm rinds and make parm broth because using parmesan broth makes an absolutely enchanted risotto.

1. Make/buy 8 C veg broth
2. Directly under your broiler, char 1 white onion cut in 8ths till its black on the outer layer and a big thing of ginger. I think this took about 15 mins
3. Toast 10 star anise, 15 cloves, 5 cardamom pods, 5 cinnamon sticks, and 1 tbsp coriander seeds in a pan over med-high heat for 2-3 minutes, until the spices are very fragrant
4. Add spices, onions, ginger to the broth and let that simmer for at least 30 mins
5. Strain out spices, onions and ginger
6. Add 1 tbsp brown sugar, 2 tbsp soy sauce, and a dash of fish sauce, plus 1 tbsp salt. If you've got it, throw in a generous amount of lemongrass paste, the kind that comes in a tube.
7. Cut up some bb bok choy and throw it in to the hot broth while you prep the shitakes and tofu
8. Cut about 20 shitakes in to thin slices and saute in sesame oil over high heat until most of the water evaporates from them. Kill heat and add a dash of soy sauce.
9. Pan fry some tofu in sesame oil till you get a nice skin.
10. Cut up thin slices of serrano chili, some cilantro, some green onions, basil, raw garlic, string beans or daikon if you want
11. Assemble your bowl - usually you just throw dry pho noodles in the bottom and let them sit in hot broth for a few minutes to get soft (follow instructions on package). Add in your shitakes, tofu, and cilantro/chili/whatever garnish. Squeeze some lime over that mess and serve.

About to try my hand at lactofermented pizza and lactofermented pizza sauce. I'll report back if the results are decent!

I made this for my sweetie last week and it was good.
It's the OP veggie bahn mi

Ingredients
¼ cup thin sliced carrots
¼ cup thin sliced turnips
1.5 jalapenos
½ cup white wine
½ cup white wine vinegar
⅛ cup sugar
1 tbs kosher salt
.5 nub ginger
1 tsps coriander seeds
3 portobello mushrooms, stemmed and cleaned
2 Hoagie rolls
½ cup mayo
¾ tb sriracha
¼ cucumber sliced thinly
½ bunch cilantro, stems on, torn into 2 inch pieces
Steps
Preheat the oven to 400 degrees
To make the pickled vegetables and jalapenos, put the carrots and turnips in a medium heat proof bowl and put the jalapenos in a small heatproof bowl. In a small saucepan, combine the wine, vinegar, sugar, kosher salt, ginger, and coriander seeds. Bring to a boil over high heat. Pour three quarters of the hot pickling liquid over the carrots and turnips and pour the remainder over the jalapenos. Let both cool to room temperature (about 15 minutes). Drain the vegetables and set aside.
Place the portobello mushroom tops on a baking sheet and sprinkle liberally with salt and pepper. Bake for 30-40 minuted, until the mushrooms have lost their water and are crispy and blackened on the edges. Remove from the baking sheet and cut each mushroom in half.
Toast the bread by switching the oven to broil for 10 minutes, then place the buns, cut side up, with butter or olive oil on them, for 30 seconds or until golden brown.
In a small bowl, whisk together the mayonnaise and sriracha. When the rolls are roasted, slather each with a liberal amount of sriracha mayonnaise.
Put three mushroom halved on one side of each roll, then lay about 8 cucumber slices on top of the mushrooms. Spoon a portion of the pickled veggies and jalapenos on top. Finish with cilantro and a sprinkle of salt.

This thread is so good, it's like I can feel he spiral comb binding at my fingertips.

There's a graphic designer in the UK that I follow who for some reason is also a Pasta Expert and he just shared what he claims is the ultimate vegan bolognese recipe. His recipes have an impressionistic BREAD DAD flavor. Gonna try:

https://pastebin.com/i1XjZuAg

I don't have a blender.

this looks really amazing. WTF is a "punnet"?? And look at the college boy with his fancy "aubergine," hahaha also "litres" lolol cultural difference specifically with British-style anglophone folks is so funny. LITRES

I'm also laughing because I recently made a vegan bolognese and the recipe I used has almost no shared ingredients with this recipe. Vegan bolognese is somehow this formless entity that can be made of anything yet still be bolognese somehow? The one I made was NOT good.

yourfriendclaire wrote: ↑Sat Apr 04, 2020 1:45 pm Forking this off from the "what are you eating" thread to make a home for recipes ONLY!

Let's go!!!!!

Here's how I make sauerkraut:

Made the kraut! My cabbage was BIG so I chopped until I got scared and then chopped a little more. I added a bunch of chopped up fresh long green Turkish chilies, coriander seeds and caraway. It filled two big ol jars and I can't wait to burp them daily.

Nice! The chilies will be a nice addition.

you'll be the first to hear.

@willowowow reporting for duty!

I made a real good grain salad yesterday. I make some variant on this all the time. This one was:

Black rice
Roasted squash
Green onions

Made a dressing of tahini, a little too much sambal oelek, chive vinegar, olive oil, a pinch of sugar, and fish sauce (because I put fish sauce in everything). But really any vinaigrette would be fine, though I'm extra partial to tahini in this.

You can make a salad like this with any whole grain (cooked spelt is usually my fave for this but it's been missing at the grocery store since Rona). I usually add garbonzos too or any cooked beans or lentils. Pretty much any cooked veg, and you can add garlic if you want. Maybe some cilantro if you've got it.

I love it so much, I totally eat it for breakfast if it's around.

Inspired by you I made a simple wheat berry tabouleh for lunch! Parsley + carrots + lemon + shallots

TIM’S ALTON’S COOKIES!

Ummmmmmm I just came across THIS

https://topwithcinnamon.com/sourdough-crumpets-video/


!!!!!!

You just throw your starter discard into a jar in the fridge until you have enough??? Then make CRUMPETS???

You can use an ol' tuna can or equivalent if you don't have "crumpet rings"

I'm getting on this TODAY, will report back in approx one week

Crumpets are da bomb.

I don't believe I've ever had one!
Given what a gross Anglophile I am I find this surprising. I'm unclear on the relationship between a crumpet and an "English muffin" which I have had many of

Crumpets are spongier. You don't split them in half like an English muffin. You toast them so the outside is crunchy and the inside is spongy and then you eat them with honey and butter because why on earth wouldn't you.

SOLD!

I’ve done this sourdough discard crumpet thing! It’s a real treat. Ol tuna can works like a dream

Ritchey!!
I made your trash soup- aka vegetable stock- last night and it's SO GOOD! I must admit to some skepticism in the moments after I dumped my tub-o-frozen-slops into the big pot, but as soon as it started bubbling and the aroma filled the house I knew you were a genius. My stock is very ginger and garlicky, and I took your advice to add a couple sad celery sticks from the crisper to round it out. I felt a mighty satisfaction scooping the soppy discards into the compost tub once the broth was done. Tonight I'll make soup!

Whoop!! I can smell that gingery broth bubbling! Sounds like you got yourself some soba soup in your future. I'm gonna sneak some ginger in too! I feel my stock is close as well. I moved my zubs from a big tupperware to a big plastic grocery store bag to be more space efficient and it is beginning to fill my freezer UP! Just in time for The Rains.

This is a FUN UPDATE re trash soup!!! It has a thousand uses; please tell me every time you use it

I was making mexican rice last night and thinking how I WISHED I had some garbage water to throw in.

yes exactly! I used some last night to tie a stir fry sauce together.
boil rice in it!
boil lentils in it! Any bean!
base a sauce on it!
Make gravy with it!
use it a facial toner! jk

Mexican rice, garbage water and iceberg lettuce. That's a meal!

It’s getting hot in Los Angeles. It will get hot where you are too.

RANCH WATER

100% agave tequila
Sparkling Water - store brands preferred (generally more bubbles)
Lime

Fill a tall glass with ice. Add tequila—a shot or two. Add at least half a lime’s worth of juice, and then put a wedge of lime in there. Top with sparkling water.

Really good!!! Will do

It’s still cold here but soon it will be hellish

Ranch Water is a great name for a beverage.

That makes me wanna be just IMPALED by desert heat.

There's no booze in the cupboard but I poured cherry seltzer, lemon juice, and bitters on ice with a few maraschino cherries to be fancy.

That sounds dreamy

Add a dash of Hidden Valley for that authentic ranch taste. Did you know Clorox owns Hidden Valley??

I just tried to make banana bread and hoooooo boy was it a failure

tell us what happened!

Seltzer with bitters is so tops. Gonna have one with lunch: Plain ol' with a lime wedge and grapefruit bitters. Mmmmm.

My banana bread was also v blah. Used a buncha yogurt and less oil and sugar and it was NOT as good. Go figure.

I haven't made b bread in years but I remember my secret ingredient (by "my" I think I mean Molly Whats-Her-Name, the Moosewood lady. Katzen? Anyway, her recipe) was COFFEE. Soak the banana goo in strong coffee before adding it to the batter. That's all I've got

Oh! She's a Moll(ie)! That is cool to learn. That recipe is online and has orange zest and almond extract in it. Sounds pretty delightful.

It reminds me of a honey cake recipe that I really love that has orange juice and coffee and whiskey and honey and brown sugar in it. It is a sticky complex delight. Who knew honey cake would be that exciting? I toss sunflower seeds and turbinado sugar on top for a crusty crunch. I could give you the recipe but it's just the smitten kitchen one.

I tried this one: https://www.simplyrecipes.com/recipes/banana_bread/ and it said to cook for 50 minutes but after 50 minutes it was still goopy in the middle so i ended up letting it cook for another 40 and when i tried to take it out the pan it was STILL goopy in the middle and it all fell out. Was it cause I used a glass loaf pan instead of a metal one? Fred Meyer only had glass ones.

A glass pan will take longer to heat up than a metal one but not THAT much longer.
- was your oven preheated?
- do you live at a high altitude? (this usually will cause sinking though, not gooping)
- If your pan was a slightly different size, it could mean your loaf is thicker and therefore needs longer to bake through
- If you overmix your wets with your drys, it will likely affect the final texture (make it more dense and gummy and less light and fluffy. Though, again, not usually goopy)
- most likely scenario, some combo of one of these plus an oven that runs cool is my guess.

Perhaps it was over-banana'd?

Molly:
-yes, preheated
- no, not at high altitude
- pan could've been a different size
- could've definitely overmixed my wets with my drys
- oven runs pretty hot, we cook pizzas at 550 and they turn out pretty good.

Alex:
- I definitely put one more banana in it than the recipe called for.

Perhaps relatedly, I've been cooking so much more in quarantine than I ever have in my life and I still get no enjoyment whatsoever from it. It's purely pragmatic for me. I enjoy _eating_ but the cooking part is stressful and annoying. Blah.

Yeah. Doing a thing that's no fun is no fun.

Sounds like it was too wet thanks to that extra nan! I remember one time I made a rhubarb cake and I added 2 more cups of barb than called for them freaked bc it took twice as long to bake as called for. Jac pointed out I had introduced way more liquid than the timings of the recipe for calibrated for! This made a huge impression on me. I bet this is what happened to you.

Doing chores you aren’t interested in for their own sake is totally hard and shitty!! I agree

I baked a gluten free banana bread this week and it wasn't great. Gluten free choc chip cookies were great, esp when warm, but "breadier" things just end up with kind of a sandy texture!

Still ate it tho

Here's a reliable and tasty banana bread recipe: https://smittenkitchen.com/2020/03/ulti ... ana-bread/

I can't vouch for the results if you replace ingredients or leave them out, though.

Last night I finally, for the first time in all the 20-odd years I have been cooking for myself and others, truly nailed roasted potatoes.

How hard could it be? It's just roasted potatoes! The most basic food our earth can provide! Well yours truly has somehow never mastered it. They are always soggy. Never crispy. This has always bothered me and yet somehow I also never made any effort to learn more. For example, even in my treasured copy of America's Test Kitchen: Best Ever Side Dishes, I am confident there is at least a 2-page spread on how to roast potatoes correctly and yet I have never delved into it.

This all changed last night.

SMASH CUT TO: I am lying on the couch, full of ennui due to menstrual cramps. I begin thinking of what to make for dinner. Something starchy and loud and salty, that's the ticket. I decided on the aforementioned (in a different thread) grilled cheese and tomato soup. You know what would be good with that? Roasted potatoes. But alas, mine potatoes are always be-sogged, says I. Well get off your duff and give it a goog', says my brain to me, finally breaking through my 20 year stupor of refusing to research this basic concept. I read a long article by one of those macho cooking guys (MCG) that went deeply into the science of crispness and various potato types and oil types. First of all, you must use duck fat and only duck fat, he proclaimed. Oh alright if you don't have duck fat you can use any other animal fat. Oh ALRIGHT if you MUST you can use olive oil. "Bingo!" I said. Anyway what I learned is: parboil them first, for 5 minutes. Not only that, but put salt and VINEGAR in the water you boil them in! Something about acidity and crispness, I can't remember. Drain them. Dump them in a big bowl, add your fat of choice, salt and pep, and then "stir roughly." You want them a bit bashed up. Again, something about nooks and crannies and surface area and crispness. Then put them on a cookie sheet (or a big cast iron skillet, which is what I do all my roasting in) and put in pre-heated oven, heated to 500 degrees! Hotter than I usually would do this job. THEN, he spoke to the final one of my perennial mistakes I now understand: DON'T STIR THEM until they are truly browned and crisped on one side--until they "release themselves" from the pan. Traditionally I stir them too soon/too often and tear off their gently crisping skins too soon.

My friends let me tell you. We sat down to dinner and I was telling Gary about something very emo that happened yesterday and that made me cry. He was listening respectfully but over time I could tell he was bottling something up. After a pause I said ".....are you struggling to stop yourself from complimenting me on these potatoes?" and he burst out "they are SO GOOD." He delivered a laudatory monologue about how he's never had better potatoes "even in a restaurant," that he would pay any amount of money for them, that they were the platonic ideal of potatoes.

And now you know.....the TRUE STORY