DISMANTLE WHARF

Have we done this yet?

My biggies:

- I went through a huge William Hurt phase in quarantine, but after some horny googling discovered he was a sexually abusive partner to Marlee Matlin >:(

- Oscar Isaac, unfortunately, forever. I feel like this is basic but also undeniable.

- Any comedian who actually makes me laugh, regardless of their looks (Tim Robinson <3)

- And, after seeing the new Sparks doc last night, a young Russel Mael, it turns out???

Hey, dithering's back!

Yayy! Top crushes.
Isn't it amazing, all William Hurt had to do was be hunky and NOT an asshole, but he couldn't do it?? (I have a framed b&w picture of his bare back that I've put up in my bathroom. Boo)

Russel Mael has been a very good pretend boyfriend for me. He has a great sense of humor, doesn't take himself too seriously, and is reliably girl-crazy (even though I'm not his type).

I am fond of the 5'10" hunk Anthony Mackie, who is apparently in rotation now for basically saying "stop shipping/sexualizing male superheroes..." I think. I don't 100% know if that's what he meant but if it is I can get with it.

After reading the 2018 GQ article, I love Brendan Fraser. Oh and I think it was GQ who made me understand the goodness of Viggo Mortensen.

With apologies, Nic Cage and Dave Bautista.

Wunmi Mosaku, Tig Notaro, Miles Robbins, Joaquin Phoenix ever since Parenthood. I LIKED JOKER IDC ;_;

Alexandra Daddario!!

I love my boyfriend Oscar Isaac but I'm pretty mad at him right now! After abandoning his fine career as an actor in relatively artful films and indie projects he gave himself completely to the Star Wars cinematic universe for many years. Fine, I thought, he's pulling a Robert Pattinson, banking up the big bucks so he can take on more interesting projects for the rest of his career. Now I hear he's signed up with MARVEL for some more goddamn cape stuff for the foreseeable future. What is he, addicted to money???

Then again all is forgiven

The only celeb crush I can think of is Matt Damon.

He's not the most handsome man in the world but he seems nice and smart, he stays out of the tabloids, and he looks like my neighbor Cassidy from childhood. I like good boys.

I don't think I really have crushes on celebs... definitely did not have them when I was a preteen/teen.

I idealized Michael Shannon until I watched the Amoeba Music "what's in my bag" with him and had to think about him listening to Wilco. I feel like he should just live in the dark in the deep south and listen to Verdi.

seconding Oscar Issac and Wunmi Mosaku! I'm trying to think of some of my own but am drawing a blank...

Robert Pattinson.
Casey Affleck.

I don't automatically love arty long-shot what is happening?? type movies, but Casey Affleck and Matt Damon did well in GERRY.

Went TO THE MOVIES last night to see A Quiet Place: Seriously, Very Quiet and discovered that Djimon Hounsou is aging spectacularly. What a beautiful person.

Jonathan Richman has it all. Full stop.

Of course, Sigourney Weaver in Alien(s).

Deer Hunter era Christopher Walken. That delightful hour long Polish wedding intro with Meryl Streep? That small town working class pre-war innocence? I mean google for yourself: shorturl.at/xBEFJ

Angelica Houston's shoulders.

Isabella Rossellini's a wonderful sexy weirdo.

We've talked about Elliot Gould. I had an Alan Alda period too.

Some of you might have heard my spiel about how Michael Keaton is the sexiest Batman, but that is not really the same conversation.

Oh lord Elliott Gould. For some reason his performance in BUSTING, where he plays a vice cop who figures out he's not the good guy, is a complete gold standard of a fantasy boyfriend to me. Or maybe it's like, my idealized self in a way. Plus those pictures of him holding Barbara Streisand on his shoulder in the swimming pool.

He wears a flimsy suit and this freaking red knit cap.

I have not seen Busting!!!

Good lord, how could I forget my beloved Elliott Gould?

Give me that unshaven, bushy-eyebrowed giant!

As if to shame me this omission, this article bobbed up in my feed today:

https://www.esquire.com/entertainment/a ... ott-gould/

Sunita Mani is my crush! First saw her in Mr. Robot, then GLOW. She is adorably doofy yet brave and Save Yourselves!. Apparently she is in a movie with my other gf Daddario called Can You Keep a Secret? which I shall watch forthwith. Speaking of Mr. Robot: Rami Malek as Elliot Aldersen is dear to my heart.

Shamier Anderson is highly crushable. I've seen him stand out in some supporting roles but he will be the lead in a new sci-fi series, Invasion, later this year. He's a tall hunk with a killer smile and a "it's the quiet ones you gotta watch out for" mystique.

Dear universe, can we please get some juicy romantic dramas starring Elliot Page? I just have a good feeling about that. Thank you.

oh def. I sign that petition.

perhaps even a period piece... Elliott Page cowboy?

That!!

Just wanted to pop in here and say I approve of all these crushes! I loved Sunita Mani in "Save Yourselves," and I also have the (predictable) hots for her tall plain loaf of bread of a co-star in that movie, John Paul Reynolds.

thank you for encapsulating the appeal of John Reynolds, @yourfriendclaire. he IS a tall plain loaf of bread, with the perfect wire framed glasses and a dementedly familiar level of disaffection.

another one in this neighborhood of my crush brain is Paul Rudd, who is probably my most mainstream celebrity crush. like we all agree he is a genuine sweetie, right? he literally owns a candy store…

and while I'm on this silly boys with plain bread appeal theme, I present to you all my tiktok crush, Killian Sundermann…
https://www.tiktok.com/@killersundy/vid ... 6711439622
https://www.tiktok.com/@killersundy/vid ... 6411230470

CUTE

Yes, this Irish man kept me giggling during quar!
How did I not think of Rudd??

Jonah Hill! He was so good in Maniac.

https://imgur.com/DF0hLgo

I had a romance dream about Anthony Bourdain last night. It was the ‘90s in Hells Kitchen and I saw him, still a young chef, in a dark hotel bar. Wordlessly he bade me to follow him through a labyrinth of hallways until we reached an upstairs cocktail lounge where we danced “slow polka” and drank martinis while gazing deep into each others’ eyes.

<3

RCH, your Alexandria D is on a new HBO show called The White Lotus!

She is HIGHLY crushable in that show!

She's got these reflective glass eyeballs, same as a cat.

Yes, her eyes are like sad/expressive marbles

I used to be an absolute Parker Posey head but these days I’m for Tilda. The Save Yourselves loaf guy was in that stressful show with Alia Shawkat right?

One time Parker Posey got on the Q train at 7th Ave and I gasped when I saw her. We were all embarrassed.

Grimes


























JUST KIDDING

That's actually so cool, @pizza, about involuntarily gasping at Posey.

I bet she gets gasped at allll the time

I am loving Bennifer. I respect JLo because she trained herself to sleep on her back, for skincare.

Well, everyone, it's a real summer of love for my people, the Oscar Isaac maniacs. First Paul Schrader's The Card Counter—caught it in theaters opening night—then the HBO Max remake of Scenes from a Marriage—wow—and then, imminently, Dune! Our patience during the long Star Wars drought has been rewarded tenfold!

Scenes from a Marriage is reaalllly good BTW

https://www.nytimes.com/2021/09/10/arts ... isaac.html

Lee Pace in shorts at the Met Gala is a five-alarm fire

Uh oh!!

(I can't believe I'm expected to know that Scenes from a Marriage and Marriage Story are two different movies)

I think it's basically the same story :/ But Scenes from a Marriage is a miniseries, based on Ingmar Bergman's 1979 miniseries of the same name. I had no idea prestige television drama existed before the year 2000!

Oh PS @RCH your celeb crush Sunita Mani is in Scenes from a Marriage briefly

I have no idea who that is, but the formal socks look is HOT

Lee Pace! He was in Halt and Catch Fire <3

I don't know about that, is it good?

Ma’am!!!

It’s the best. Four-season, four-character ensemble revisionist history of the personal computer revolution, probably initially pitched as "Mad Men for computers" but has much more heart than that. Starts in Texas in the ‘80s with a group of people building a microprocessor and ends with the beginning of the WWW. Incredible production design, and even though it’s not a straight history (in any sense of the word) it’s reverent and faithful to the spirit and texture of the material, and includes, starting in season 2, what's probably the most interesting and complex female friendship ever silver-screened? I was desperate to be hired as a consultant on the show but it was cancelled just as I finished the manuscript for Broad Band. Everyone is also *extremely* crushable. Mackenzie Davis omg.

Slept on in its time but I feel like there’s a steadily growing appreciation now that it’s on streaming (Netflix if you wanna).

Halt and Catch Fire is one of my all time faves BUT I initially gave up on it after the first season left me cold. years later someone encouraged me to pick up season 2 and the rest of the series is transcendent, particularly once the friendship @yourfriendclaire mentioned was introduced. mentioning here just in case you don't vibe with it at first! now I will dream of a spin-off centered on Anna Chlumsky's character with @yourfriendclaire as a consultant.

https://youtu.be/yD_kCKiSkoI

ok!

Perfect crush for the season **swoon**

Story time! Yesterday was my birthday (37 spins around the sun, thanks) and I was feeling really down on the whole thing, not wanting to make plans, being a total Scorpio, etc. UNTIL: by providence, an email lands in my inbox from the American Cinematheque, announcing a very special

** OSCAR ISAAC CELEBRATION **

On the very day of my birth! Our man was going to be at the Los Feliz 3 (if you're not initiated, an intimate little arthouse) IN PERSON introducing a screening of Inside Llewyn Davis. I smashed those tickets instantly, even became a Cinematheque sustaining member for the privilege! What a gift, to get to share oxygen with my number one celebrity crush for a few moments. You know I got dolled the hell up, thinking what luck to live in Los Angeles, where dreams are made.

Jump-cut to:

I realize this is barely a story. Just...imagine my broken heart.